Friday, February 1, 2013

I'm Still Such a Kid

Just when I think I've finally started having some semblance of an adult, I realize I am still such a kid.  Today, I have been waiting all day for some big news.  It's been torturous!! Not because I'm nervous.  I just want to know the decision.  I found out this evening that I will get the final answer tomorrow.  My inner child comes flying out at this point screaming, "I CAN'T SURVIVE ANOTHER MINUTE OF WAITING!!!"  Yet as you see, I am just fine several hours later.  I thought about going to bed at 8pm like a child just so tomorrow would come faster, but I have five million things to do so here I am still awake at 12am.  In all honesty, I would have flown through my to-do list much more quickly had I not had this "waiting" tick tocking in the back of my head.  Waiting one twenty-four hour period is wrecking my productivity and making my stomach shake. (My stomach shakes when I'm anxious and excited.)  I wonder why it's difficult to wait as a kid.  I wonder if the reasoning is the same as adults.  Some of my anticipation today is that I want to make plans and I need to know the decision in order to make plans.  I'm not sure if kids think that way.  It makes me think of Veruca Salt's character in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.

Veruca Salt: [outside the Chocolate Factory] Daddy, I want to go in.
Mr. Salt: It's 9:59, sweetheart.
Veruca Salt: Make time go faster. 

Why is wanting things so ingrained in us?  And waiting so difficult?  We're supposed to hope and have desires in our hearts, but we also have to have patience.  How do we know what the good desires are and which ones will get us attacked by squirrels and thrown down a garbage chute? Veruca Salt's demise

Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a desire fulfilled is a tree of life. Prov. 13:12

So I'm a little heart sick for this decision today, but in the scheme of things I've been a bit heart sick for some time for other hopes deferred.  I think I can handle another day.  :)  I was trying to finish this at midnight yesterday but kept falling asleep.  Did I make you heart sick waiting for my blog post?? hahahahaha I realize I am ridiculous. #beyou I also realize this is not twitter. :)

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