Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Say What You Need To Say....

I walked in the park with Tolmi on Sunday afternoon. It was really stunning. The park was packed with people. I did a fair share of people watching and speculating the lives I saw from these tiny moments of observation. The trees were singing and beautifully ridden with fall colors. I disagree with the idea of an "Indian Summer." We have just had some beautiful fall days with toasty warm afternoons. :c) I felt strangely connected to all the people in the park that day. Each eye contact made seemed to express we were all a part of something and new we were exactly where we should be at that moment. There was a peacefulness to it despite Tolmi's relentless speed. I have had other moments in life that I knew I was exactly where I should be. The blessing of these moments almost begs you to stay, but it's also in these moments that it can be so clear when it's time to move. (sidenote: my friend, Dominic, says hi. :)) So Tolms and I walked around with all of our "old" friends, smiling with familiarity. I sat on the pavilion steps to watch the sunset or the beginning of it. Tolmi sat still for the beginning, but had only so much restraint for the twelve squirrels scampering around in the grass. Ha it was no longer "our time" to be there apparently so we ventured off.

It's been a bit of that "Say What You Need To Say" stuff for me lately. It may not be in the original intent of the Mayer song, but important nonetheless. I've learned quite alot about my specific personality and also working with others through the different jobs I've had. My last job held this in high regard. We had team meetings almost quarterly about this subject. I learned some things I like about myself as well as things I dislike. One thing I know to be true about me is that if I make a verbal promise to you as small as it may be, it is as strong in my mind as a written contract that I've bloooood. haha no but really....not that I haven't broken promises or let people down, but it bothers me more than it even should probably. So why is this important for you to know.....why is anything I blog about important? haha It isn't, but I read blogs because I like to know people. A blog is not as satisfying as a face to face conversation, but the clips of thoughts give some insight to add to the quilt that represents you in my brain. Ah back to promises or even things I say... This fact about me makes what I say and don't say pretty important. When I'm ready to set a goal or consider a big decision, I start telling a few people to make it real and to start holding myself accountable to it. In that way, I NEED to say things to you so that I make a pact with myself to do it. In a strange way even though those I tell may not know it, I think that they are expecting me to do it because I said it as well. All of this adds up to better odds that I will reach my goals and make my decisions.

In telling people your goals and things you are considering, you also welcome advice, opinions, encouragement, and discouragement. This is the other side of "Say What You Need To Say." I welcome thoughts from others. I don't feel pressured or obligated to follow any advice, but I definitely consider these things. I'm a slow processor so it may take me a bit to "say" those things myself if I choose to agree with you. :) This part also lends itself to Glen Hansard's "Say It To Me Now." I'd rather your feelings and thoughts be expressed than withheld to my detriment or yours. Sometimes tough stuff needs to be said out of love. It will always come back to love if the original intent starts there.

So I've been doing some talking and people have been talking to me. In the words of Glen Hansard, "Because I'm picking up a message, Lord. And I'm closer than I've ever been before. So if you have something to say, say it to me now." If you haven't caught on yet, I'm setting some goals and making some big decisions. Thanks for reading. I like you guys. :c) This pic by M. Rinaye Photography is an accurate representation of how I feel riiiiiiight now.