Wednesday, September 28, 2011

This is my story, this is my song......

I have been hesitant to talk about my life with God on here. I chalked it up to my music being more secular than sacred. I also blamed it on you. I figured it would annoy someone or make them uncomfortable.....make my life less enjoyable for the reader. I apologize for that. Lucky for you, I have realized that it's not fair of me to guess your response. I have also realized that being people of integrity, respectable and apparently slightly interested in my ramblings, you might want the whole me. Who am I to withhold such a huge piece of pie from you (imagining my time spent as a pie chart)? Well get ready to devour a delicious piece of pie.....A LA MODE :D If you have found enjoyment in my other posts, I promise this one will not disappoint....full of silliness as well as seriousness.

It all started around the age of fifteen actually. I obviously lived for fifteen years before that, but I'm gonna do my best to skim this life story down for you. At fifteen things were surprisingly good. I had a best friend, my older sister had a boyfriend in a band so I got to go to shows all the time, my two years of braces had come and gone, I was on the dance team, I had a family that raised me to see the beauty in myself, and somehow for a period of time I had a group of guy friends that saw me as the "cool" girl that could "hang" with the guys.....amazing right?

Well my best friend sort of shook things up, and believe me, I am forever thankful for it. I grew up in a church-going family. I remember my Mom praying with me before bed as a child, and knowing my Dad was very knowledgeable in Christianity. I think every kid reaches a level of maturity that requires them to step away from their upbringing long enough to make a decision for themselves. That was fifteen to sixteen for me. I saw the part God played in my best friend's life, and that there was a personal passion in it for her. I had too many doubts just leaning on my upbringing. So I started asking questions.....being the devil's advocate in more ways than one I'm sure. My best friend, a fiery redhead with a temper to match, fought with me on several occasions but I can see now that she was fighting for Truth. I didn't experience a traumatic event or lose everything I had, but I finally recognized the Truth of God. And if I believed it was Truth, that meant God had plans for me while I was here on earth. the summer of my sweeeeeet sixteen, I made a decision to follow Jesus Christ.....not based on my family, not prompted even by my best friend, it was just between God and I.

A few years later in college, I was introduced to a song. I immediately started crying because my best friend, mentioned above, was this for me. She labored in Love with me through that time, and my life is forever changed. The lyrics were "I wouldn't be here with the Lord if you hadn't stayed by my side through and through. Faithfully, you carried me on as my tears and my joys were shed and told. Night and day God heard my prayer, and a blessing was the answer to my call. And it was you." (song by Shannon LaBrie Whitson) My family was obviously a huge part of this decision as well. They laid the foundation. As a typical adolescent, I didn't go to my family with my doubts. I went to my best friend. I praise God for her wisdom at such a young age.

I made my decision on July 24th, which means I just celebrated my 12th anniversary of walking with God! Life has been anything but boring. There have been periods of waiting, but in retrospect I see that they were times of preparation. God has taken me to the tops of mountains literally in Colorado, huffing and puffing in the elevation and singing silly songs to motivate the group to endure and persevere. Any of you who have hiked to the top of a mountain know how worth it it is. God has taken me to the tops of metaphorical mountains, one in particular was hiking to the summit of emotional healing. Sheeeeesh, there is freedom there that I had never ever known. God has taken me to Green Bay, Wisconsin to lead nationwide youth groups through week long mission trips. When God puts you in a leadership position, get ready to have Him download wisdom and knowledge. Sidenote: Followers of Christ, we should ALWAYS remain teachable. God had taken me to Greece. I spent three months in churches only in Greek, and in a community of almost no other Christians. Huge impact on developing my personal devotion to God with no encouragement or "Christian bubble" (as I'm sure many have heard this term). God has taken me to a children's home in Pennsylvania working with troubled youth. Maybe the toughest six months of my life so far, but I wouldn't trade it. God has taken me to Memphis. I went out of obedience and had the experience of truly starting over. I continue to see fruits from that adventure. God has taken me to Missouri where more things happened than I can record. I learned how to walk with God in Missouri. I learned about His true Love for us. I learned how to serve in the Body of Christ. I learned how to listen for His Voice.

So to come clean with all my dancing around the truth of the matter. I did not come to California a) solely for music or b) to make it big or c) to find a husband (I know I know it's crossed my mind, but laughable when next to Truth) My latest adventure has been God taking me to California. I live my life according to His Word and hearing His Voice leading me. I spend time with God almost every day. Yes, those people do exist. :) God confirmed for six months that He wanted me in Los Angeles while I complained and squirmed saying, "I don't want to live in LA." I finally said, "Yes, I'll go." I spent the first few months being surprised at how well everything was going and at how much I like it here. Now, I just smile because every day God is showing me that He is my Provider, and He is faithful and a giver of good things. It doesn't surprise me anymore. I live every day expecting Christ to show up.

This may be too much for some people. It's easy to get Christian-y and cliche. You may be thinking, "Why bring this up now after almost two years of blogging?" Well lately my music, my life, and my God have been intertwining in a whole new way. I can't separate them now! It's been a new level of deep rooted joy and blessing beyond measure. And all I'm doing right now is working, singing at church, and reading the Bible and praying.

Amos 5:4 For thus says the Lord to the house of Israel, "Seek me and LIVE."

The reason I decided to blog this is because I had kept this part of my life evasive on here and I just can't anymore. Also because my pastor out here said in a sermon recently, "No one can debate your story." This is just my story, a HUGE part of my life, but not up for debate and not meant to rustle any feathers in YOUR story.

So life is good. Right now I'm focused on being humble, fearless, and LOVING.

1 John 4:18 There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. For fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not been perfected in love.

Yup, that's in the bible.

Well, I loved having you over for pie. I hope you are pleasantly surprised by its richness and depth of flavor. Sorry I hid it in the fridge for awhile, only hinting at its existence. hm hm hm I told you silliness would be in here. But seriously. :)

More updates coming but this post is already looooooooong as usual.


Thursday, September 1, 2011

Pride is the opposite of humility.....

Some stuff I've been reading......

"When Jesus tells us to love our enemies, He Himself will give us the love with which to do it. We are neither factories nor reservoirs of His love, only channels. When we understand that, all excuse for pride is eliminated." -Corrie Ten Boom

"But the consummation of the marriage does not come to pass until the soul is so melted, annihilated, and freed from self that she can unreservedly flow into God. Then that admirable fusion of created and Creator is accomplished, which brings them into unity, so to speak, though with the same infinite disproportion that exists between a single drop of water and the ocean. The drop has become ocean yet it forever remains a little drop, though it has become assimilated in character with the waters of the ocean, and is therefore fit to be mingled with it and to make but one ocean with it." -Madame Jeanne Guyon

“Son of man, I have broken the arm of Pharaoh king of Egypt, and behold, it has not been bound up, to heal it by binding it with a bandage, so that it may become strong to wield the sword. Therefore thus says the Lord God: Behold, I am against Pharaoh king of Egypt and will break his arms, both the strong arm and the one that was broken, and I will make the sword fall from his hand." Ezekiel 30:21-22

I'm reading these three books at the same time. One day they all matched up on the subject of pride. Suddenly, I saw pride popping up all over the place in my life. I realized that in most cases of pride personally, I am simply using it to mask different fears. In response, I've been attacking fears lately. It's exhausting but worth it!

Anywho, I have been busy with weddings, visiting family in Kansas City, surviving in LA, making new friends out here (yay!), having old friends visit (yay yay!!), and helping with my ten year high school reunion. yes.......Here's a pic of me in junior high on the dance team. I'll let you guess which one is me. :) I could not attend the reunion since it was back in Arkansas and I'm in California, but had the opportunity to try and round up as many of our classmates as possible. I don't have a yearbook with me out here so this was quite a task. As I reconnected with several high school classmates, I recognized that I could only think of them as the eighteen year old version of themselves. For some, I have obviously kept in touch and still know them today but others I only saw through high school graduation. I found out that ten of my classmates have passed away. That's one per year. I only had around 300 in my class so I at the very least knew everyone's face. How much does everyone change in ten years? It made me wonder how much I've changed since high school. Me as an eighteen year old vs. Me as a twenty-eight year old. Yeeeeeeesh. I've lived with the changes so they don't seem as significant or drastic, but I hope someone that knew me at eighteen would notice changes in me now. I just thought of how everyone writes in your yearbook "Don't ever change." Oops! haha

I have to confess that I was kind of glad that I couldn't get back home for the reunion. I haven't taken one of the normal routes at this point in life. I didn't get plugged in to a career and climb the corporate ladder and I haven't gotten married either. Not to stereotype too much but being from the South, most of my classmates have done one or both of these by this age. Many of the girls have multiple children!!! So the "What have you been up to for the last ten years?" question seems quite daunting. I don't have a short, chit-chat, answer for that question. Yet again, pride rears its ugly head because I fear that I haven't "done" enough with my life. :( I do wish I could go and ask all of them tons of questions because I like listening to people. But I'm pretty sure I couldn't dodge every question directed at me.

I have been playing a few more gigs here as well! Here's a video of me performing a WIP (work in progress) at one of my recent shows! Enjoy! Thanks for stopping by! If you want to connect with me elsewhere online, check out my website! It has all the links to my other social media. G'night!

Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Caution: Not for the Faint-hearted!!

**The reading of this post may cause convulsions, vomiting, and/or night terrors**

Let me just tell you a few things. Several readers that know me have found it comforting that I blog exactly the way I talk. Well, this blog will be no exception. Sometimes I say things that some find inappropriate or taboo. Consider yourself warned, but this is not a disclaimer....I claim these statements. :)

So Tolmi's favorite plundering item to find is the bathroom trash. Yes, we're going there. I have lived with him four years and therefore have a trash with a lid in the bathroom. My poor roommate has been learning this lesson the hard way because her bathroom trash has no lid. He's very ninja-like in his stealth speed, jetting into her room oh so quietly and digging til he finds the "prize" item. He has to leave the crime scene quickly though so he carries his (every word I'm thinking of right here grosses me out) ________ into a well-traveled area concealed neatly inside his mouth. It's only when he decides to disassemble it that the full horror of the situation is realized. I have reached into Tolmi's mouth for many things I really don't want to touch. Partly because I don't know what they might do to his insides, but mostly because I don't really want to see them come out the other end. I distinctly remember pulling one of these items out of his mouth yesterday because a few minutes later he wanted me to pet his face and I said, "No, you just sucked on a bloody tampon." Yep, that's what I said. A sentence I never planned on saying in my life.

Later that afternoon at the dog park, Tolmi starts to do his "business" as we call it. I notice about six inches of "business" hanging from his bottom as he runs from the place he squatted. He's freaking out a bit because this doesn't usually happen. This causes his muscles to flex and more "business" comes out. If you can imagine at this point, Tolmi has about two feet of "business" in a rope or monkey tail of sorts hanging out of his bottom. He is frollicking and spinning around trying to chase his second "tail" to disconnect it. I am holding the tools at the dog park commonly used to pick up after your dog. One looks like a scoop attached to a pole and the other looks like a hoe. I'm running around after him to hopefully with some athletic talent I don't possess masterfully detach the "business" from his bottom with the hoe tool. He stopped long enough for me to do this the first time. happened THREE times!!! Luckily I guess, somehow he worked the other two out himself. What a spectacle though. Tolmi growing a second tail at the dog park three times and me, running after him saying, "What did you eat?" My roommate later confirmed that he ate a trash item before she could retrieve it. I know this happens in some form to most pet owners at one time or another. My sister's German Shepherd once ate a whole roll of paper towels and her bottom was like a dispenser for the next few days. My brother had a cat that got into some dental floss.....and yeah....ew. Oh Tolms......the things we do for love. haha

So I've been driving around in Los Angeles. The other day I was thinking, "Hey, I think I'm starting to relax behind the wheel here now." I went into this whole thought process about how crazy it is that we all trust each other driving around in these huge metal boxes. We trust that we will drive well and not cause accidents, but even moreso we trust that total strangers will follow the rules enough to not crash into us. Or that someone won't throw in the towel and decide to play bumper cars on purpose. Not kidding, as I'm thinking this I'm driving on a four lane street. I'm driving south in the left lane. A convertible traveling north suddenly pulls out of the north-bound left lane into my south-bound lane. I went into frozen mode for a second and he PASSES me in the south-bound right lane!!! The overpass to get on the 101 was right behind me so I don't know how that all turned out, but WHAT??? He looked so calm! I don't know if I explained this accurately, but it was one of those "Am I awake right now?" moments.

In other news, I'm making great first impressions left and right in my role as barista at M Street Coffee these days. True story/true conversation:

Customer orders her regular and places her backpack on the counter to retrieve money to pay.

Me: Threeeee Twenty-fiiiiiiive (in a thick Southern accent)
Customer: (stares/glares at me for a moment) Are you being an asshole right now?
Me: What? I just said three twenty-five.
Customer: Oh I thought you looked at my bag and said, "reeeeeally expensive baaaaag." (rude tone, thick with sarcasm) I mean I know it's a cheap bag, but. I was like wow, they changed the overall vibe here with the remodel. (sidenote: we just reopened from being closed two weeks for a remodel)
Me: (completely blushing with embarrassment) Oh no no no. (Laughing off the awkwardness)

Awesome first impression.

I told my boss and the next time the customer came in she brought it up to her. We all laughed about it. Mine was a partially scared laugh. The customer commented on how it was so strange because she literally thought I said, "really expensive bag," then made eye contact with her, and smiled sweetly. She said she thought, "What is this chick a serial killer?" Yikes! haha That dang creepy cute factor follows me wherever I go. So yeah, don't you worry about me....I'm making creepy, rude impressions all over the place.

Speaking of creepy, I do not watch scary movies. It's like knowing eating cashews makes you break out in hives. Who would eat cashews on purpose if they know hives will inevitably show up? I cannot handle scary movies, even stupid scary. My imagination runs wild with plot lines and twists and eventually everything scary that could happen in and around my life has crossed my mind. I watched a movie from my roommate's DVD collection recently that I thought would be a sad story with a redemptive ending from reading the back. NOT SO! Suddenly a twist in the story includes a serial killer and several graphic images. Where is the "trash" file in my brain? Not only was it scary, the ending doesn't ever resolve. That's the only hope for me in these situations. If I start watching something scary, I have to watch to the end in hopes that resolution occurs. Meh, scary movies for me please. I'm sick of getting hives!

Next things on my to do list:
1) Gig this Saturday in Bell Gardens, CA. I don't really know what to expect. They booked me off GigSalad ( And yes, I've thought of every horrible possible scenario due to my recent cinematic undertaking. Don't worry, I will walk in there mace first. It's another night with several musicians so I look forward to meeting more people!
2) Befriend a person living in the building next door with a pool in their courtyard. I've heard scary stories about summer in the Valley.....
3) Attend a Songwriting Workshop! I've never had any formal training in songwriting so I'm excited and terrified about this! It's on May 4th so coming up!
4) Embark on a new project with some new friends creating a marketable product that involves me getting out the old sewing machine. :D :D :D
5) Stop eating Easter candy......stop.........ok now stop.....shoot

See I ended with candy so it was okay, right? Whoa, I just read over this. This post makes me think of that time when snakes started flying out of my lawn mower! This blog post=definition of a scatterbrain

Ok go watch this video. It'll relax you from my silliness. I love the part at minute 3:10. :) Goodnight!

Saturday, April 16, 2011

Dream a Little Dream....

I started a long post with this, but......I'm feeling quiet.

I'm on a mission out here.....a treasure adventure.......a quest....and it's taking me down different paths than I expected. Nice paths though where the trees bend over the road on each side, and I can see the stars out (even in LA) while walking in the cool of the evening.....I like puzzles, but I also like I'm trying to balance out my logic and anticipation of what's around the bend. Nice paths though.

I don't know what you like, but I wanted to give you a present. I decided I would put this little good night video only on this blog. I hope you like it. Thanks for checking in.

Saturday, April 2, 2011

Leah Lynn, Lee Jane, Ellen, Lou Ellen, Lee Something......

I'm the new person all the time these days. I've shaken so many hands and clearly enunciated my name too many times to count in the past month. I'm California. Too much has happened since I last blogged, and I keep meaning to record a brief (haha right?) summary of it here. Honestly, it has become too daunting. I'm too chronological and detailed and we'd easily have a novel in the works. To save time on writing, perfecting, editing, revising, editing, sending to publishers, cover artwork, publishing, printing, pricing, distribution......I'm just gonna give you the good stuff. Here are a few of my favorite things about my life in LA so far.
1)My Dad came to my rescue in Amarillo. Okay this was pre-LA, but certainly the reason I made it here. He literally wore his "Dad's Rescue Service" shirt depicted on
the right. Long story of car trouble, but he drove all night to come help. What amazing parents I have. This was the tip of realizing how hard it would actually be to leave all my friends and family. The Grand Canyon (below),as amazing as it was/is, seemed to further symbolize the growing distance.
2) I have a new roommate! I had somehow forgotten what a quirky, okay really just weird at times, social introvert I am. I was settled in to a community for years that knew my quirks and somehow forgot they do still exist and ultimately are quirks. She has put up with me with such grace. Living with someone truly is like having someone hold up a mirror. Eeeek! Communication IS key. It has been so great to be on this adventure with another person! Sometimes we just go, "We live in California now?!?"
3)Dog Parks or should I say Tolmi's ALL TIME FAVORITE thing about the move has been the dog park. It has been my
saving grace or my sanity saver or something. I think if I had waited one more day Tolmi would've literally climbed the walls of our apartment. I think I've mentioned before that I'm pretty sure in human form Tolmi would be jock or a cool kid. It's been fun to see him strut his stuff around the other dogs. Unfortunately, he tends to be the annoying one that humps all the dogs. Yeeeesh! I've been schooling myself abit in selflessness, and I've failed alot in the area of attitude. When Tolmi wants to pee, I'm not in Missouri where I can open a door and let him frollick in a fenced yard. I have to drag myself out of bed, clothe myself, shoe myself, leash Tolms, and grab my keys, my phone, and a poo bag all while Tolmi is doing the kidney dance around me. For those who know me well, this is quite alot of activity in my first fifteen minutes of the day. I'm still learning the selflessness lesson....but I love my Tolmers.
4) There's a house at the end of my alley. Our strip is mostly apartment buildings, but there is one house on the end. It has a garage that faces the alley. Often right before sundown, an older gentleman has the garage open revealing this beautiful old car. I know almost nothing about cars, but it looks like a Model T to my car-ignorant brain. I like to make up stories about he and the car as I walk by. I always try to make eye contact and say, "Hi," but he never looks up. Maybe some time I'll share one of those stories with you, but not now. :)
5) I love having my own bathroom. Most of you know baths are my stress reliever. I take one almost every night. So I need not explain much about loving my bathroom. It goes without saying for me. It's not an amazing bathroom, but I love it. Every night, I think about painting a sky scene on the high ceiling. Maybe when my painter friend comes to visit.
6) Walking to and from work. It's great thinking time and the scenery is obviously beautiful! I find myself often feeling pretty whimsical when outside here. I equally love the roof access in my building for this very reason. Here are a few of the palm trees that line the streets in my neighborhood.
7) Speaking of walking to work, I LOVE my new job. I love it because of the girls I work with though. They really make the place what it is. The vibe is so welcoming and home-y. It is such a blessing to get to call these girls friends. And the regulars are pretty awesome too. I am surrounded by creative people, and it's inspiring to say the least. Check out this place! If you live in LA, have a favorite coffee shop, and haven't been to M Street, you have not considered the best coffee shop in the area. And I'm a bit of a coffee snob after working in several cafes. When I moved to LA, I kept thinking, "I just need to find something to pay the bills right away." This place has already done so much more than "pay the bills." I can't say enough about my pleasant surprise in this part of life out here.

Ok there's so much more, but those are just a few of my favorite things. When I wait too long to write, I get very task oriented and lose the natural flow usually captured in recording a vivid experience in writing. To be honest, I fear this has happened here. As far as this list of my favorite things, I have watched The Sound of Music since childhood and still have a VHS of the movie. "When the dog bites, when the bee stings, when I'm feeling sad, I simply remember my favorite things, and then I don't feel so bad" are some lyrics from a song in the movie. I have thought of this a couple of times during this transition, and it does help. This move to LA has been so good for the majority of all the parts. To tie in what I mentioned about realizing how hard it would be to move SO far from friends and family, I have been living that reality out for the last month. I have been confronted with the ache and loss of knowing and being known by people. I have completely started over in the friend area. I've done this several times in the past, but never with this much self awareness I guess. I know myself better today than any of my previous days. Due to this, I am keenly aware that I don't ever walk into a situation here without foundation to lay. Sure, some of it is just small talk with acquaintances, but most of it is "what do you..where do you....when did like what?" My parents visited me recently, and I experienced that deep sigh kind of relaxation you have with people that know you.....really know you....without's already all been discussed. So for an introvert that loves quality time and quality conversation, I've been tapped out socially from meeting so many people but craving that deeper level stuff, ya know? Remembering all the good things listed above makes waiting for the friendships to develop bearable. :)

Quick interlude depicting one of my "pockets of shyness".....some musicians come regularly to the coffee shop. The owner introduced me to them as a singer/songwriter. They asked for my website so i wrote it down for them. The next week they came back for their Americanos. I assumed they had not checked out my website because the "no response" happens alot. As I handed one his drink, he said he checked out my website and that I have a great voice. I quickly shifted my eyes elsewhere, probably blushed, said "oh thanks...", and moved behind the espresso machine out of his line of vision. What am I, five?? Ugh, you'd think I'd never received a compliment before in my life! Professionalism, zero! Yikes! Where does that come from? So yes, one of my many "pockets of shyness" moments.

Here's to hoping I'm having more success in other music situations in this town.... I'm playing my first gig during an Artwalk in Newhall, CA on Thursday, April 7th at 5pm. I'll be at El Trocadero along with several other songwriters who will be performing throughout the evening.

All in all, I am safe, alive, and much more than well. I have my
heart set on recording some vivid experiences for you word and in song. Thanks to everyone that has checked in on me via phone, skype, text, message, wall post, comment, etc. They have all been very timely and greatly appreciated. I make thank you gifts for you in my head, but I realize not everyone wants quilts, mixed tapes, and peanut brittle. I'm uploading a live performance on my youtube channel: leeellenstarks right now, but it's taking five years so set your watches for five years and check it. G'night!
Near the Griffith Observatory in LA

Thursday, January 20, 2011


So I've been listening to the radio ALOT! The CD player in my vehicle is not working, and, like sushi, I continue to give mainstream music a good solid effort. For those of you familiar with "what's on," I'm baffled that currently Rihanna cannot remember her name.... I do try to sing along with Katy Perry's "Firework," but break into giggles during the chorus every time......"ah..ah..ah...hahahah." It works like that belly laugh game for me, which the goal is not to laugh but usually everyone does. If at least one person knows the game I'm referencing, this moment has been a success. And believe me, the radio goes "Back to December ALL THE TIME," thanks to Miss Swift. I don't hate most of these songs. The volume goes up when a bright spot like Mumford & Sons', "Little Lion Man" comes on....once a week or so. The songs that are repeated SO often are just not usually songs I would......repeat? Aside from that, recently I've noticed an increased play of Leona Lewis', "Bleeding Love." My theory is that radio stations do that when someone is about to come out with something new. I will listen to songs like this one and Jordin Sparks', "Battlefield" solely for the moment where the beat changes. In "Battlefield," this moment occurs when she sings, "You better go and get your armor." I love to feel the song become more fluid and it almost feels like slow motion. To me, it's the same experience when the landing gear on an airplane loses contact with the runway at takeoff. Or when a horse is trotting and breaks into a canter.

I was thinking about all of this in the car the other day and remembered a story. I rode horses alot growing up. I'm kind of an urban cowgirl though. I can't claim full authenticity. :) So this one time, my mom, dad, sister, and I were on a trail ride near our house. My sister and I were riding horses that weren't ours. If I remember correctly, there names were "Petey" and "Zach." I was in the front, and Sarah Beth was behind me followed by my parents. The horses knew the trails so well that they know when you are heading back to the barn. Our ride began right before they were usually fed every night. We were just taking a leisurely trail ride and enjoying the scenery. Suddenly, Petey blasts off like I kicked him in the flanks with spurs. I knew my parents didn't want their horses to run so I tried to slow him down. For those of you well-versed in horses, you have to "show them who's boss" or they will "try" you the entire ride. So I was doing everything I had been taught to get him to stop but to no avail. Somewhere deep inside I didn't mind it though because I love when horses canter (run). On a trail ride, horses typically follow the leader so all four horses were running. My parents were yelling at me to stop, and my sister and I were laughing uncontrollably (problem #1) while trying to stop our horses. When trying to get a horse under control in my experience, they typically walk sideways and buck alittle bit. Well in this case, he was running sideways back and forth on a narrow trail but luckily not bucking. My parents got their horses to stop, but my sister was still right behind me. At this point, I realized the horses knew it was dinnertime and they wanted to be ON TIME! I asked my sister if she was okay to keep running, and she said she was so finally I just pushed my heels down and enjoyed the ride. The horse knew exactly where he was going and knew the trail better than I did. My sister and I just laughed like maniacs all the way back to the barn. This is how I feel about the subject to this post. I have tried everything to get control of this move.....control of my next step......control of where I'm going. I've decided that I trust the horse. My horse knows where He's going and knows the trail much better than I do.

I'M MOVING TO LOS ANGELES!!! And I will not be late for dinner..... :c)