Tuesday, August 18, 2009

The Tales of Tolmi

This is a recent picture of the Tolmster sleeping in my parents' dog's bed. They have a Cairn Terrier that is probably 1/3 the size of Tolmi........I adore this pic. :c)

Ok so I think I've mentioned before how Tolmi and the neighbor's dog have been digging holes toward each other under the fence. It's really kind of sweet. It's like the forbidden love or something ya know. The neighbor and I have conversations like, "Yeah crazy kids...." haha So the neighbor said that she was going to get some dirt to refill the holes....yes there are multiple. And I immediately thought, "Now why would she choose to do that? Because they will just dig it out again." I, on the other hand, threw a cinder block in the hole and looked at Tolmi like, "hehe now what?"

So from this little life demonstration, it would seem that my neighbor either really believes in the ability of others/dogs to make positive decisions or maybe enables negative behavior. And I, it would seem, either do not give others/dogs a chance to make positive or negative decisions or maybe live in fear of the worst so protect protect protect!

So I had one hole blocked with a cinder block, but another was still open. I let Tolmi outside Saturday morning, and when I came to let him back in he was through the hole up to his shoulders! When he popped his head back through, his collar was missing. I let him out later in the day, and went out to check on him. He was nowhere to be seen.... It's amazing how the heart pounding, mind racing thing kicks in immediately and you can only grab thoughts enough to verbalize the name. So I managed to yell, "Tolmi," a few times.....nothing........and then, he comes bounding through the back corner of the fence (the opposite side from the "holes" girlfriend). He looks at me as if saying, "Come look what I found," and then he turns around and goes back through. I run over in time to see him squeeze through the foliage-covered corner of the fence into the other neighbors backyard. He is frolicking around their backyard. I watch for a minute to see if he will get out of their fence and really be free. *Side note* My last dog slipped out the front door, ran straight to the street, was hit by a car, and died immediately. I heard him get hit from inside the house and we have a rather long driveway. Horrifying..... Anyway, so any sort of escaping FREAKS me out! So I run over to the neighbors and say, "umm my dog is in your backyard." He didn't have a collar because remember, he lost it so I catch him finally, pick up the 50 lb chunk, thank the neighbors profusely, and walk all the way back over to my house with Tolmi under my arm.

Sunday afternoon involved a trip to Lowe's for some tent pegs and chicken wire. Thanks to Dad, I secured the weakness in the fence. I have mixed feelings when I watch Tolmi run over to the blocked holes and fixed fence. Kind of that "caged bird" sort of thing. It gives me peace of mind to know he's safe and the competitive side of me grins to see he hasn't figured out another way out yet, but I also feel alittle sad to take his fun away. Whew! Anywho, I'm sure there will be more "Tales of Tolmi" so to be continued for now......

I'm still writing and sending postcards!! Also, I've got two new songs rolling around in my brain. One some of you have heard in draft form for now referred to as "Lullaby" and the other is really really new. Something about sunrises. Yay for new songs!

Tuesday, August 4, 2009

yeah that's me......

I was recently playing at an outdoor gig and a friend from college was there. I sang the song that I played the first night I EVER played guitar and sang in front of a live audience of people other than family or close friends. Such a monumental experience.... Well this friend, Betsey, was there that night, Amateur Night on Drury University's campus, 2003. I know....I'm so dramatic. So she shouts out, "I was there." I was surprised by alittle validation that crept up in me in that moment. To be known is a human desire across the board I think. I caught myself thinking, "That really did happen because she was there and saw it happen." And so an unknown need was satisfied by the three words, "I was there." Anyway, so then Betsey shouts out, "Could you play that song you wrote about dancing?" I typically tie songs and albums to different memories or sections of my life. (ex. Lauryn Hill's The Miseducation of Lauryn Hill most definitely tied to the summer after my sophomore year in high school).

I do the same thing with songs I've written obviously for even more personal reasons. It's kind of two fold though because the song itself is about a past experience or experiences I've had and then secondly, I tie it to what I'm experiencing at the moments around the time I wrote the song. Does that make sense? I find that when a song sort of "falls" out of me, I realize what it's REALLY about after I've written it. Like oh?....oh! haha

so back to the original story......the song about "dancing" Betsey mentioned is the first song I ever wrote called, "Dance." Face value, it's about growing up as the girl who was not asked to dance at the dances. Now before you give me that gross, sad "awwww," on a deeper level it's about realizing I have unmet desires and needs and insecurities and......stuff. Now before you give me another gross, sad "awwww," it has a happy ending. :c) haha not because I'm fixed and have it figured though.....make no mistake! I was a senior in college when I wrote it though so this song also ties me to closing up the chapter of college and being anxious about what that all meant. So Betsey had no idea the flood of emotion she hacked into by surprising me with that request! haha If I know I'm gonna play it, I can prepare the boundaries as necessary.

I remember the first few times I sang "Dance" even for close friends and how I felt like going to put on a winter coat after playing it. I was sharing a side of me that I wasn't quite familiar with yet. "yeah that's me...." :c)

I'm sitting in a coffeeshop in Springfield, MO. A few bands just finished playing and are cleaning up. I think as a musician it's AS important to attend shows as it is to perform shows!! So refreshing and inspiring! Postcards are slowly but surely going out! I won't confirm the recording dates til I've written all the postcards......I've decided that because it's important to me to communicate with all of you. :c) It's AUGUST!!! crazy madness! g'night!