Monday, January 28, 2013

White Blank Page

It's still very daunting every time I start a new post here.  I've often heard writers talk about the blank page or for painters the blank canvas.  There's an excitement to it but also an undercurrent of "someone might see this" anxiety.  And that undercurrent carries the weight of what criticism there might be of my heart.  And then there's the criticism of others as well. :)  As soon as it's written or typed, it exists somewhere.  I think what's more daunting for me is that these are my unsolicited thoughts.  These just roll around in my brain and I type some out from time to time.

In social situations, I've noticed I tend to not volunteer information unless asked.  I'm an open book to an inquisitive person, but to most I'm might seem quiet or private.  So this blog is different in that I just place my fingers on the keyboard and stuff comes out.  I don't plan out what I might say.  It's pretty much a "stream of consciousness," most of the time.

So here goes:

A blank page is comparable to a crush before any dating occurs.  Some pages quickly become the reckless drawing of a kindergartener only to live on the refrigerator for a week or two before accidentally falling in the trash.  Some pages get stared at for ages and pens come as close as they can without leaving a mark time and time again.  Some pages are drawn very intentionally and carefully in effort to recreate a picture drawn in the past.  Some pages have been white for a long time either because the artist has sworn off drawing/writing for awhile or maybe there's never been anything to record.

I've been finding some good supplies.  Purchasing the good kind of pens and paper.  I'd like to draw and write some things so I'm getting myself ready to do opportunities arise. :)

The crush mentioned in the last few blogs is still around but still a blank page. haha After asking him some questions, I was quickly thrown off to find that I liked his answers.  My "find the red flag" plan was dashed to pieces.  So I will just practice some unconditional love on that one.  True Love certainly never hurts the receiver even if the sentiment isn't returned to the giver.  UN-conditional.

"Love is patient, love is kind.  It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.  It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.  Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.  It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.  Love never fails."  I Corinthians 13:4-8

I have a lot to learn.

I'm going to challenge myself to write a series of short daily blogs in the coming days.  I hope you'll join me by reading along. :)

P.S. I'm singing the National Anthem at the Rock'n'Roll 1/2 Marathon in Pasadena on Feb. 17th.  I started out signing that in my high school gym at games. Life is funny.

1 comment:

  1. I love your thoughts, and I'm so excited about you singing the National Anthem! Wish I was running that 1/2 just to hear you sing at the start!! :)