"When Jesus tells us to love our enemies, He Himself will give us the love with which to do it. We are neither factories nor reservoirs of His love, only channels. When we understand that, all excuse for pride is eliminated." -Corrie Ten Boom
"But the consummation of the marriage does not come to pass until the soul is so melted, annihilated, and freed from self that she can unreservedly flow into God. Then that admirable fusion of created and Creator is accomplished, which brings them into unity, so to speak, though with the same infinite disproportion that exists between a single drop of water and the ocean. The drop has become ocean yet it forever remains a little drop, though it has become assimilated in character with the waters of the ocean, and is therefore fit to be mingled with it and to make but one ocean with it." -Madame Jeanne Guyon
“Son of man, I have broken the arm of Pharaoh king of Egypt, and behold, it has not been bound up, to heal it by binding it with a bandage, so that it may become strong to wield the sword. Therefore thus says the Lord God: Behold, I am against Pharaoh king of Egypt and will break his arms, both the strong arm and the one that was broken, and I will make the sword fall from his hand." Ezekiel 30:21-22
I'm reading these three books at the same time. One day they all matched up on the subject of pride. Suddenly, I saw pride popping up all over the place in my life. I realized that in most cases of pride personally, I am simply using it to mask different fears. In response, I've been attacking fears lately. It's exhausting but worth it!
Anywho, I have been busy with weddings, visiting family in Kansas City, surviving in LA, making new friends out here (yay!), having old friends visit (yay yay!!), and helping with my ten year high school reunion. yes.......Here's a pic of me in junior high on the dance team. I'll let you guess which one is me. :) I could not attend the reunion since it was back in Arkansas and I'm in California, but had the opportunity to try and round up as many of our classmates as possible. I don't have a yearbook with me out here so this was quite a task. As I reconnected with several high school classmates, I recognized that I could only think of them as the eighteen year old version of themselves. For some, I have obviously kept in touch and still know them today but others I only saw through high school graduation. I found out that ten of my classmates have passed away. That's one per year. I only had around 300 in my class so I at the very least knew everyone's face. How much does everyone change in ten years? It made me wonder how much I've changed since high school. Me as an eighteen year old vs. Me as a twenty-eight year old. Yeeeeeeesh. I've lived with the changes so they don't seem as significant or drastic, but I hope someone that knew me at eighteen would notice changes in me now. I just thought of how everyone writes in your yearbook "Don't ever change." Oops! haha
I have to confess that I was kind of glad that I couldn't get back home for the reunion. I haven't taken one of the normal routes at this point in life. I didn't get plugged in to a career and climb the corporate ladder and I haven't gotten married either. Not to stereotype too much but being from the South, most of my classmates have done one or both of these by this age. Many of the girls have multiple children!!! So the "What have you been up to for the last ten years?" question seems quite daunting. I don't have a short, chit-chat, answer for that question. Yet again, pride rears its ugly head because I fear that I haven't "done" enough with my life. :( I do wish I could go and ask all of them tons of questions because I like listening to people. But I'm pretty sure I couldn't dodge every question directed at me.
I have been playing a few more gigs here as well! Here's a video of me performing a WIP (work in progress) at one of my recent shows! Enjoy! Thanks for stopping by! If you want to connect with me elsewhere online, check out my website! It has all the links to my other social media. www.leeellenstarks.com G'night!