I often have this paranoia that my headphone plug will come partially unplugged from my iPhone and I will be left jamming out with my headphones in while my playlist is playing out for all to hear. Listening to music with headphones is a tiny escape. Because I'm plugging my ears from hearing the outside world, it creates the sensation that I'm not really there.
When I was younger, I used a similar thought process at night when trying to go to sleep. If I got scared, I would close my eyes and lay as still as possible. I convinced myself that if I couldn't see the monsters or bad guys that they couldn't see me either. I was safe because I wasn't seeing....
I'm kind of living in a cloud at the moment. I recently went to Malaysia, which requires a whole separate post but I flew through Beijing. There is so much pollution there that you can't even see the planes depart from inside the airport. I bet if you walk around in that pollution you can't see but a few feet in front of you at a time. The people we could see outside were all wearing masks over their noses and mouths. If I stay in this cloud, I have the excuse of being "undecided" or "unsure" or whatever other procrastination method I might use. If I take a step in any direction, everyone sees me step out of the cloud AND I can see the consequences of my choice. I kind of feel like I'm experiencing some sort of vertigo or "lost in the forest" kind of thing.
"she crawls out on a limb
and begins to build a home
and it's enough just to look around
and know she's not alone" from "up up up up up up" by Ani DiFranco
So you can find me in a cloud somewhere jamming out to some embarrassing pop song playing at max volume out loud with my headphones securely plugged in. I might even have my eyes closed thinking you can't see me...
I'm makin' a move soon.....I'll get out of this cloud yet!
Hopefully playing at ArtsFest! Stay tuned!!
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