Ok so I have been wanting to blog for awhile but sometimes my hours just don't add up. Anyway, SO this post is all about feeling like a kid as an adult. I feel like I've been humbled in several ways over the past month. Sometimes it felt like bowing my head out of honor and respect for being so blessed and other times it felt like taking a face plant into horse manure (an experience I have had in real time haha).
In the past month, I have had a few gigs that have surprised me with packed rooms and captive audiences and some that have surprised me with a profound lack of interest.
I've had two very different, but both great, experiences in studios. The recording I have continued at VanSmith Studio locally has been great because I am able to bring close friends, record exactly what I have written in its original form, and there's a comfort there that my creation is loved just the way it is, which is humbling in its own right. Support out the wazoo AND the acceptance of something I can't seem to call finished on my own but still offer in its unfinished state. Recording at Red Tree Recording Studio in Houston was humbling in a completely different way. I flew to Houston all by myself. I went into the studio to record something that came from somewhere in me (ridiculously cheesy I know) with an extremely talented guy I met once and communicated a few times with via our friend, the internet, and three other extremely talented musicians I had never met before that day. For those of you that may be past this intro phase with me, I am quite quiet a) with new ridiculously talented people such as everyone I know and b) in groups of such people. So there I was, confronting intense feelings of insecurity, inadequacy, and oh yes....good 'ol shyness, all the while trying to be present and involved in this new-to-me process of recording a spec recording. I felt like a toddler in comparison to their experience and expertise, but they were amazing at helping me feel comfortable in that situation. This great experience was different from VanSmith because I had other people speaking into what I had begun, trying to help me complete what I can't seem to finish by offering their unique talents. I look forward to sharing "A House to Clean" with you guys, but I can't yet. I've been communicating with Jeffery, owner of Red Tree, and tweaking the mix. What a great guy! Remember, he's working with a toddler here, in terms of studio experience. Humbling humbling humbling!
And my most recent humbling experience was definitely childlike and definitely a face plant of sorts. It reminded me of the movie Overboard with Goldie Hawn and how the youngest son makes her a macaroni necklace. I'm sure he felt really good about making it for her and hoped she'd like it and wear it. Well, my experience gives an intensified meaning to "Pride comes before the fall." I'm embarrassed to write about it because it WAS terribly embarrassing but also because I don't want anyone to write pity comments about it. So why am I going to share it you might ask? I'm afraid if I don't share it I might stop making "macaroni necklaces" for people. :(
Ok, so here it goes......I love noses. haha how weird can this story get from that intro? No, I love noses. I think they are unique and quite intriguing. This has led to an interest in faces and family resemblances. Then, I went to Greece for a semester in an architecture program (sidenote: I was not an art or architecture major....yeah try and figure that one out!) and we had to draw EVERYTHING. We would literally go to a city and our teacher would say, "Okay, you have two hours to draw." In our program, I slowly but surely realized that in all our lecture classes that semester, all the architecture students were drawing other classmates during lectures. I quickly picked up this habit, and realized that I vividly remember all the places I drew in Greece as well as all the faces I drew. All of that said to bring us to the present and tell you that if I like you, I want to draw your face.......I want to know it that well. Does that make sense?
So, I recently drew a "lee ellen original" haha of a friend's face and included it in a project I created for her. I have rarely given people pictures I've drawn. I do realize it is not a um natural gift I have.....but my friend opened the gift in front of other people and when it got to my drawing a girl said, "whoah" and they all laughed at it. (GRAND PAUSE for effect)
I felt like the little girl in the picture up there, but didn't have the lack of age to hide behind in this situation. My macaroni necklace was mocked and then they didn't know what to do because it was their gut reaction and my gut reaction was fifteen shades of embarrassment! oh you guys.....oh you guys.........I had high hopes for the reception of that gift, and face planted into some manure because I am not a sketch artist. My friends weren't wrong for responding the way they did. What I drew is beautiful to me because it's my best attempt at "knowing" a friend's face as picasso-esque as it may be. I know that friend's face now though.....and I do love her nose. :c) All of this embarrassment to say, I won't stop drawing your faces. You may never see them.......well maybe.....if I think you can take it.......would you wear a macaroni necklace with an evening gown? I hope so.