yeah that's me......

I was recently playing at an outdoor gig and a friend from college was there. I sang the song that I played the first night I EVER played guitar and sang in front of a live audience of people other than family or close friends. Such a monumental experience.... Well this friend, Betsey, was there that night, Amateur Night on Drury University's campus, 2003. I know....I'm so dramatic. So she shouts out, "I was there." I was surprised by alittle validation that crept up in me in that moment. To be known is a human desire across the board I think. I caught myself thinking, "That really did happen because she was there and saw it happen." And so an unknown need was satisfied by the three words, "I was there." Anyway, so then Betsey shouts out, "Could you play that song you wrote about dancing?" I typically tie songs and albums to different memories or sections of my life. (ex. Lauryn Hill's The Miseducation of Lauryn Hill most definitely tied to the summer after my sophomore year in high school).

I do the same thing with songs I've written obviously for even more personal reasons. It's kind of two fold though because the song itself is about a past experience or experiences I've had and then secondly, I tie it to what I'm experiencing at the moments around the time I wrote the song. Does that make sense? I find that when a song sort of "falls" out of me, I realize what it's REALLY about after I've written it. Like oh?....oh! haha

so back to the original story......the song about "dancing" Betsey mentioned is the first song I ever wrote called, "Dance." Face value, it's about growing up as the girl who was not asked to dance at the dances. Now before you give me that gross, sad "awwww," on a deeper level it's about realizing I have unmet desires and needs and insecurities and......stuff. Now before you give me another gross, sad "awwww," it has a happy ending. :c) haha not because I'm fixed and have it figured though.....make no mistake! I was a senior in college when I wrote it though so this song also ties me to closing up the chapter of college and being anxious about what that all meant. So Betsey had no idea the flood of emotion she hacked into by surprising me with that request! haha If I know I'm gonna play it, I can prepare the boundaries as necessary.

I remember the first few times I sang "Dance" even for close friends and how I felt like going to put on a winter coat after playing it. I was sharing a side of me that I wasn't quite familiar with yet. "yeah that's me...." :c)

I'm sitting in a coffeeshop in Springfield, MO. A few bands just finished playing and are cleaning up. I think as a musician it's AS important to attend shows as it is to perform shows!! So refreshing and inspiring! Postcards are slowly but surely going out! I won't confirm the recording dates til I've written all the postcards......I've decided that because it's important to me to communicate with all of you. :c) It's AUGUST!!! crazy madness! g'night!