the little things!

This, my dear friends, is my dog, Tolmi or Tolms, Tolmer, Buddy Bear, Tolm, Boober, Sweetah and so many more. :c)  I took this pic tonight because Tolmi ran back to my bedroom while I was in the kitchen.  I was sure that he was up to some mischievous mayhem, but when I got back there he was just laying down on my pile of dirty clothes... I just changed the sheets on my bed and he's mainly laying on the sheets I just took off my bed.  aww sweet buddy :c)  I found myself smiling at the fact that Tolmi typically likes the things about me that no one else would like.  Dirty clothes, smelly feet, when I drop things in the kitchen, etc.  It's good for my little soul to be reminded that somebody, rather dog or person :c), likes even the yucky stuff about me. 

Random Tolmi fact:  Tolmi likes to "show off" when I sit on the back porch.  So sometimes I give him huge carrots to eat, and he's such a sneaky guy that somehow one ended up outside.  I burned so many calories laughing and smiling while he played with a carrot, throwing it up in the air, catching it, then running away from it, then looking at me to see if I'm watching, then picking it up and carrying it around like a cigar.  mmmmm such a lovely life moment...

Anyway, I posted two new songs on mySpace!  "A House to Clean" and "How Should I Feel?"  www.myspace.com/leeellenstarks   Check them out and let me know what you think?

I also figured out how to put videos on Youtube, thank you Dominic, so I will be posting some videos as soon as I get past the voice altering part of this cold I have!

Spring is here! Enjoy!!

Tonight's gig!

I'm playing tonight at Big Momma's on Commercial Street. My friend, Elizabeth Losson, will be playing from 7:30-8:15pm. We will play a few together and then I will play 8:15-9:00pm. I hope to see you there!!

P.S. Do your life a favor and check out this guy, James Morrison. Here is one link of him playing live, but check out all the live videos on YouTube of him playing and SINGING!!! mmm mmm mmm I love his voice and commitment to the lyrics emotionally.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JO64nfF1KrQ

Correction! Self-Employed Artists Conference

So Saturday I went to the SEA Conference here in Springfield.  Silly me, I understood it to be a "Songwriter's Conference".......but no, no it was not. :c)  But it turned out to be better for me than what i expected because it was all about the things I'm hesitant to do when it comes to a music career.

So the big neon blinking sign that I left with from the conference is, "If you are working a 9-5 job and doing music in the evenings and on weekends, you are a hobbyist.  If you are living off your art, you are an artist."  And, "Be honest with yourself about where you are on the spectrum."  Well I am completely on the left side of that spectrum (hobbyist).  So I have all these new things to think about, which come with numerous fears!  

Do I really want to work toward being an "artist" living off her art?

How do I do that?

Can I do that?

Is that how music is supposed to fit in my life?

Should I be content with being a hobbyist?

Are my fears fears to overcome or fears to warn against moving in the wrong direction?

.......haha just to name a few...... The speakers at the conference said several times that independent artists have to wear all the hats unless you have tons of money to pay others.  Well a) I do not have tons of money and b) I don't know that I can honestly wear all the necessary hats.....but i do love hats..... :c) ------------->

So I'm currently feeling overwhelmed but balanced by a good measure of hope and comfort that I don't have to make anything happen.  I'm trying to figure out where I should reside between pursuit and patience, confidence and humility, and openness and boundary.  So my mind is busy, but I hope I'm able to accomplish some tasks in the midst of my distracting thoughts....not really a multitasker........at all.

I'm playing at Lindberg's on Commercial Street Thursday March 19th!  Elizabeth Losson will be playing as well!  I'm not sure what time yet......I believe it begins around 7?  I'll update when I find out.  Happy St. Patty's Day!!!  I forgot to wear green today......don't even get me started...... G'night!!

....those three words.....

So first of all......I got a truck!!!! ahh i would be happy to never have to peruse another car lot in my life.  i realize it's probably inevitable, but i'm hoping to drive this truck for many many many......many years. :c)
As for the subject of this post, love has been on my brain lately. I've been very aware of how others love me and how i choose to love others. I've noticed a trend in saying "those three words." It's no longer three words.....it's only two words. I keep hearing, "ok talk to you later. Love you." Yes, ladies and gentlemen, "love you" has replaced the three classic words used throughout history to express love verbally. Three words wasn't short enough? Efficiency efficiency efficiency!
Why does this bother me? Well, if you know me well, you know that I have been trudging through that murkiness for as long as it takes to find out. It bothers me that we, yes i'm including myself in this conundrum, have taken the ownership out of loving each other. "Love you,"......who loves you? "I love you," leaves no room for speculation as to who is doing the loving. I cringe every time I catch myself saying this to someone else, but yet.....I rarely correct my statement of "love you" to say "no, I love you."
To me, the correct understanding of this altered statement, "Love you," is actually a command telling 'you' to love yourself. If someone says, "Feed Sarah," we don't understand it to mean, "I feed Sarah." No, it means "You feed Sarah." Does that make sense? Since the true joy comes from the act of loving others, why not own it? Anyway, these are my thoughts. Comments and feedback are certainly welcome. :c) Well, music update! I will be recording one of my songs at Sean Lea's studio in Springfield, MO soon! I'm working my way up to having enough songs to make an album. :c) Thanks again to everyone that's been asking for a cd! It's very encouraging and motivating for me to finish one for you to have!! Well, I am going to take a walk with my dog, Tolmi, in this lovely weather. More to come soon!